Table Top and Mental Health (From the Archive)

[This piece was originally written for another blog and published on 13th May 2021. Some aspects have been updated from the original, but most remains the same.]

People who know me only a little recognise that I am programmed to worry. Sadly, I seem to believe that if I'm not worrying about something, I've clearly not hyper-fixated on it enough. As a result, I am always thinking. I don't stop. Sometimes I'm able to momentarily distract myself from this constant stream of anxiety, playbacks, and what-if hypotheticals that form the bulk of my headspace, but I'm rarely fully chilled out.

Many people have recommended meditation and other mindfulness activities to me to help me deal with my anxiety, but as much as they describe how they let their thoughts flow by like paper boats on a gentle stream, they can't seem to grasp that my thoughts are more like paddle-steamers full of brass bands battling through a hurricane, while on fire. I'm sorry, Brenda, I can't just acknowledge that and let it move on, it clearly needs my full and constant attention!

But a few years ago, something changed. I discovered table top gaming. 

(And no I don't mean the dusty boxes of Monopoly, Scrabble, and Cluedo that are brought out once a year when the family have been getting on too well and need taking down a peg or two. There is a whole world of board games out there that people have actually put thought and effort into making enjoyable experiences).

(No shade to anyone who really enjoys Monopoly, Scrabble, and Cluedo... Well, maybe a little shade).

I can recall a few Januarys ago, when my partner and I had just finished a game (I think it was Forbidden Island) and I looked at the clock to see that an hour had passed without me even noticing. I am always aware of the time; I check my phone constantly. Yet, somehow, my brain had been completely and totally switched off from my usual thoughts and worries and I had allowed a whole hour to pass without a single worry.

To put this into context, with any other activity, be it watching TV, playing a video game, reading a book, or doing chores, I find I am always worrying that I should actually be doing something else (I know, undiagnosed ADHD, etc...). If I'm cleaning, I worry that I should be resting for my wellbeing. If I'm resting, I worry that I should be doing something productive. The cycle is never ending.

So you can imagine my surprise and delight when I realised that for the first time in memory I had spent an hour completely free of worry and felt so good as a result. My partner informed me that this was something called "Flow" (I'm thinking of paper boats on a stream again), and that this was "a good thing". The equal measures of challenge, sensory fulfilment playing with the tiles and counters, and conversation made this an activity that completely immersed me.

I did a little reading about this and I found it was best described by psychologist Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi as a state of complete immersion in an activity.

"The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost."

I had absolutely NO idea that this was a thing that was achievable for me, but once I had experienced it I wanted more. It felt so good to just know that for a while I was existing without the constant barrage of stress, nerves, worry, and hyperactive thinking. So I did what any reasonable person would do, I leaned into the board games harder and we even set aside a specific time each week to sit and play a game or two. It quickly became an almost sacred time for me that was providing me with a great feeling of relaxation and rest.

Looking up about the idea of flow, I came across the following guidelines on how to achieve it and I was surprised to see how many of these suggestions tie in strongly with table top gaming (though I am convinced that the flow state is probably achievable in different ways for everyone. I have a feeling that this is a deeply personal thing).
 

1. Set Clear Goals - with board games this is done for you. Every game has a win-condition you need to fulfil.
2. Eliminate Distractions - I now leave my phone on the other side of the room and realised that where we play by back is to the clock on the wall. It's amazing how these two things helped. Plus the game kept me engrossed enough that I forgot they even existed.
   
3. Add an Element of Challenge - OK. If you've ever played Forbidden Island or Escape the Dark Sector, you know what a challenge some games can be!
   
4. Choose Something You Enjoy - as I said above, it's actually amazing how many good board games there are. They come in almost every theme imaginable and with a bit of research can be so much more enjoyable than your classic move-around-in-a-circle-until-someone-flips-the-table family game.

On top of these, I began to recognise that board games were a real aid to social anxiety. Playing a game with another person or a group of people provides perfect structure to an evening. It allows a shared activity for conversation to grow around like vines, but with enough to focus on that there's little pressure to be overly communicative if you aren't feeling very sociable.

Let me know if there's a certain activity that you have found helps you reach this "flow" state. Or perhaps you just want to talk table-top? Either way, I'd love to hear of your experiences of mental health and/or gaming.