Last year Oxford English Dictionary declared Goblin Mode as Word of the Year. This, on the face of it, was a joyous occasion for all the Lil' Goblins out there. Until the OED stated what their chosen definition of the phrase was:
Goblin Mode (Noun): The behaviour of someone who wants to feel comfortable and do and eat whatever they want, not caring about trying to be clean, healthy or attractive, or about pleasing or impressing other people.
As an honorary member of the Goblin Contingent of the Hand Limit board game group, I can only begin to describe the frustration of my goblin comrades at this unworthy definition. Sure goblins may occasionally shun hygiene standards, sure they might survive for days on a diet of cereal and gummy worms, and sure they might sometimes present themselves in a way that doesn't comply with society's standards of beauty, but this is all part of a wider shunning of societal expectations and pressures in favour of running wildly off into the woods to worship an interesting looking mushroom, or eat a loaf of bread right out of the bag. It is so much more than the desire for comfort!
Goblins are emerging from the desire for chaos to replace late-stage capitalism. We all have an inherent desire to rid ourselves of the shackles of oppressive standards and embrace the chaos of the natural world.
So, for all you Lil' Goblins out there, here's 5 table top games that will help you embrace the chaos and unleash your inner goblin.
Happy Salmon, Ken Gruhl et al. Exploding Kittens
3-6 Players (3-12 with 2 sets). 2 minutes.
When considering chaos, Happy Salmon is a force to be reckoned with. I find it hard to believe this was something that someone designed, rather than being discovered as a forgotten artefact of the big bang itself, forged from pure chaos.
It's a chaotic game, is what I'm getting at here.
This turn-less card game gives the simple objective of being the first one to rid yourself of all your cards, like Uno. Unlike Uno however, the only way to discard a card is to complete one of 5 possible actions that the cards show (pound it, high-five, switcheroo, or Happy Salmon), with someone else around the table who is also trying to complete the same action.
All players talk over each other with increasing volume and speed, arms flail wildly, cards are thrown aside, then someone slams the table to announce they've depleted their deck mere seconds before anyone else. This all happens within the space of about 30 seconds to a minute.
As party games go, it is the most adrenaline I have ever experienced from one deck of cards, and for a very reasonable price it is a must have to anyone looking for an energetic and age-accessible game. A single pack will allow up to 6 players but buying both colour variations can allow up to 12, though a game of that size may need to come with a health warning.
If you are lucky enough to get your hands on an original version of the game it comes in a neoprene, fish-shaped bag. It's worth the money.
Cheating Moth, Emely Brand & Lukas Brand. Drei Magier Spiel.
3-5 Players. 30 minutes.
What could be more chaotic than a game that encourages, neigh requires, cheating to win?
At it's base level, Cheating Moth is another simple card game in the vein of Uno. First person to rid themselves of all their cards wins. Players take it in turns to play numerical cards into a central pile that value one higher or lower than the last card played. There are also cards that trigger certain effects, like the spider card that allows a player to give one of their cards to another, or the mosquito that punishes the last player to slap it with more cards into their hand.
Oh and did I mention that it's totally fine if you want to just ditch cards beneath the table, up your sleeve, or maybe into a friend's packet of crisps?
Here we see the cheating of cheating moth. Within certain parameters, players are allowed to dispose of cards however they see fit provided they can get away without being seen by the "Guard Bug", a random player who may not cheat but must keep an eye out for players who are. If they successfully catch a player cheating, the cheater becomes the Guard Bug, until someone manages to spirit away their entire hand.
Cheating is essential. The eponymous Cheating Moth card may only be removed from your hand through cheating. It cannot be played legally.
This is another incredibly simple game that is filled with chaos as cards are slipped into pot plants, spun across the room right beneath an unsuspecting Guard Bug's nose, or someone stands up at the end of the game to reveal quite how many cards they were hiding up their top.
When you realise quite how sleight your friends' sleight-of-hand can be, you'll find it hard to look at them the same way again!
Wiz-Nerds - TTRPG, Michael Whelan. Available on itch.io.
1+ Players, 1 GM. 2-3 Hours (chaos depending).
We've all been there. You've just joined a Wizarding School but within 30 minutes of your first day everything goes wrong. Maybe the school is invaded by goblins? Perhaps a time-hole has opened up in the third floor corridor and dinosaurs are getting all over everything? Or maybe something much better? However it plays out, it is up to the gang of plucky first-years to save the day, armed only with their introductory text books which they, of course, have not even opened yet.
Wiz-Nerds is a rules-light TTRPG that is perfectly designed for a one-shot, chaotic adventure. Each player is provided with a sheet of magical words with no explanation or translation. Through trial and error and different combinations of words, they might start to figure them out well enough to use them to their advantage and save the day. Or, as one player managed when we played, turn a fellow student inside-out and explode them...
The GM, naturally, knows what all the words do but will never explicitly tell the players. They will need to learn through the effects of their random spells. This game requires very little set up as, trust me, it will take players considerably longer to solve simple problems when they can't control their own powers. The game is a pleasure to GM and a riot to play.
I don't want to say too much about this game because it would be better if you just gave it a go! Michael Whelan has done an excellent job of creating a set of rules that make chaos inevitable. There is no way to get through the game without something melting, going on fire, or someone meeting their end in an explosive way.
Blood Bowl Sevens, Games Workshop.
2 Players. 45-90 minutes.
How could I have a list of games for lil' goblins and not include a game that involves actual lil' goblins?
Blood Bowl is wargaming for those who don't wargame and it's sport for those who don't sport. As Games Workshop like to put it, it's Fantasy football (or hand-egg, if you're so inclined). Imagine a world in which the vast armies of orcs, dwarves, elves, and the like, lay down their arms (well... sort of) and take up blood sport to resolve their differences. The sport in question is styled like American Football but actually plays a bit more like rugby, if such a distinction matters to you.
Blood Bowl is a frankly chaotic game because of the sheer amount of chance involved. Almost every action your players take involves a dice roll, the consequences of which range from success, to failure, to failure so bad your player dies...
Aside from the sheer amount of customisation of your team that this game allows, it provides a fantastic environment for story telling. There is nothing more hilarious than having a player pass a ball an improbably distance, avoiding interception, executing a perfect catch, having the receiving player dodge through the grasp of the other team, push themselves to get to that end-zone, only to fail the final roll, slip over... and die from their injuries. Or, as a recent game played out, be within spitting distance of a touch down only to have players repeatedly fail to pick up the ball, leaving them all scrabbling around like idiots as the ball bounces around the pitch.
It's this kind of unpredictability that will have players recounting tales from the table for a weeks after a game.
Our list specifies Blood Bowl Sevens, rather than the full game, and there is an important distinction as to why we have chosen this. While the main game is awesome, Blood Bowl Sevens is designed to be a shorter and easier to digest experience, with only 7 players per side rather than the usual 11. It makes the rules slightly easier to learn and the games last closer to 1 hour than the 3+ hours needed for the full game.
The way Games Workshop has built this into the fiction is through dressing Sevens up as more like the College Football leagues rather than the NFL. As such the players are underfunded, less well trained, and prone to far more significant injuries. These minor tweaks only serve to enhance the chaotic nature of the game whilst also making it more accessible to new players.
Don't want to invest in a whole team before trying the game? Find someone who already plays, I guarantee they will have multiple teams painted and ready to go.
Camel Up (2nd Edition), Steffen Bogen. Eggertspiele.
3-8 Players. 45 minutes.
What's more chaotic than a game where none of the players are actually controlling the pieces on the board? In Camel Up 2nd Edition players take the roles of pundits at a camel race, placing bets on camels in the hope of ending the game with the most money.
However, working out form and probability is nigh on impossible when the camels move at random speeds (sometimes not at all), hitch rides on each other's backs, or simple run the wrong way around the course carrying any hapless camels with them.
Races are separated into Legs, which each carry their own smaller bets and allow for players' fortunes to rise and fall throughout the game. Someone getting off to an early lead might lose everything when the camel they were betting on gets carried to the back of the pack by the pair of wild camels that run the wrong way round the track each race.
This is an accessible game for almost the whole family (younger children might get a bit lost with the betting mechanics but will still enjoy making the dice roll out of the 3D plastic pyramid) and differs from the others on this list in that players are not actively participating in the chaos. Instead you can sit back, sip a mint julep, and enjoy the unfolding shambles.
Special Mention: Colt Express, Christophe Raimbault. Ludonaute.
2-6 Players. 45 minutes.
I can't in all good conscience have a list about chaos and not mention one of my favourite games of all time. Colt Express injects chaos into the game by taking your carefully thought out plans and filling them with more holes and a prospector's union suit!
Is there a game that should have appeared on this list? What's your most chaotic table top tale you have (within the realms of the rules - no table flipping)? We'd love to hear what you think in the comments section below.
